aloha present, aloha past...
That is it, the decisions are made. its amazing how a week away from the mess makes me realise how tangled i am! so, thismorning, the decisions were made.
I bought a flight to Hawaii with Kaye leaving mid-Feb since they were cheap and i have no excuse not to.
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But wait, what happens to my trip to the land of the rising sun. well, its ok you see, ill just defer uni for 6 months, go when its cheaper and sunnier, spring, then come back to uni in July next year. that gives me all christmas to work, 6months to get the travel bug out of my system again, then a year to finish off undergrad and mid-semester entry for honours in 2008! woop!
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2008 is a long way away, the gap filled with plans, plans upon plans. I could just not make plans. An eloquent little miller quote has been prancing around in my mind lately, it seems to fit now:
"...each thought, each glance, each step, each gesture killing and recreating, death always a step in advance. To spit on the past is not enough. To proclaim the future is not enough. One must act AS IF the past were dead and the future unrealizable. One must act as if the next step were the last, which it is! Each step forward is the last and with it a world dies, one self included!"
Yeah i know, its no Rumi, but it works for me, and it can be rephrased to suit. but so true. of late, ive just been sitting around, groaning, like i criticize so many other people for doing, when groaning does nothing. to get past the groaning you look to the future, "it'll be better once im not working so much, it'll be better once unis over, it'll be better once the house is settled." No it wont, it is better and best NOW.
"...everything was for tommorrow, but tommorrow never came. The present was only a bridge and on this bridge they are still groaning, as the world groans, and not one idiot thinks of blowing up the bridge!"
ah Henry, if only you were alive now, and a little younger, that'd almost be love! lol